Writing Effective Sentences

You need to establish a clear and concise writing style. In each of these sections you will have an explanation of the concept, an example of how the concept should be applied and several sentences to correct.

Effective Sentences

If two or more ideas are parallel, they should be expressed in parallel form. Single words should be balanced with single words, phrases with phrases and clauses with clauses.

Example:

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point.
This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.


Fix these sentences (use a separate sheet of paper):

  1. Abused children commonly exhibit one or more of the following symptoms: withdrawal, rebelliousness, restlessness, and they are depressed.
  2. Eric is responsible for stocking shelves, writing orders, and sales of computers.
  3. After saying he was sober, Sam drove down the middle of the road, ran one red light, and two stop signs.
  4. At Lincoln High School, vandalism can result in suspension or even being expelled from school.
  5. Many states are reducing property taxes for homeowners and extend financial aid in the form of tax credits to renters.
  6. I was advised either to change my flight or take the train.

Modifiers

Limiting Modifiers are words like "only," "even," "almost," "nearly," and "just." They should appear in front of a verb ONLY if they modify that verb. If they limit another word in the sentence, they should be placed in front of that word.

Choose the best sentence:

  1. Lasers only destroy the target, leaving the healthy tissue intact.
  2. Lasers destroy only the target, leaving the healthy tissue intact.
  1. Our team didn't even score once
  2. Our team didn't score even once

You should also place phrases and clauses so that readers can see at a glance what they modify.

Choose the best sentence:

  1. On the walls are many pictures of comedians who have performed here.
  2. There are many pictures of comedians who have performed here on the walls.

  1. The robber was described as a six-foot-tall man with a mustache weighing 150 pounds.
  2. The robber was described as a 150 pound, six-foot-tall man with a mustache.

Shifts

Keep your point of view consistent. First person (I, we), second person (you), or third person (he/she/it or they).

Fix these sentences:

  1. One week our class met in a junkyard to practice rescuing a victim trapped in a wrecked car. We learned to dismantle the car with the essential tools. You were graded on your speed and your skill in extricating the victim.
  2. Everyone should purchase a lift ticket unless you plan to spend most of your time walking or crawling up a steep hill.
  3. A police officer is often criticized for always being there when they aren't needed and never being there when they are.

Maintain consistent verb tenses

Readers are distracted and confused within a passage begins in one tense and shifts without warning and for no reason to another.

Fix these sentences:

  1. There was no way I could fight the current and win. Just as I was losing hope, a stranger jumps off a passing boat and swims toward me.
  2. The scarlet letter is a punishment sternly placed on Hester's breast by the community, and yet it was an extremely fanciful and imaginative product of Hester's own needlework.


Make Logical Connections

Readers are distracted when you place information in places that can cause confusion.

Fix these sentences:

  1. Reluctantly we decided that Tiffany's welfare would not be safe living with her mother.
  2. Under the revised plan, the elderly, who now receive a double personal exemption, will be abolished.
  3. The tax accountant, a very lucrative field, requires intelligence, patience, and attention to detail.
  4. Anorexia nervosa is where people diet to the point of starvation because they believe they are too fat.
  5. The reason I missed the party is because my motorcycle broke down.

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